What Are You Seeking?

     Is this a disease? We went on separate ways long ago, and I have not talked to or seen you for some considerable time, but I am still thinking of you! I have met plenty of girls, I have had several potential life partners, and my response to all of them has been a decline. Maybe that is because I do not really see them, but I see you through them. I do not really seek one of them, but I seek you in one of them. I seek your beauty. I seek your personality. I seek your smile. I seek your intelligence and cleverness. I seek the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you used to look at me, the way I used to feel for you. I seek the bond we have had, some kind of heavenly bond without the least interference from you or me: it is just there. I seek our resonance: someone to understand me like what you did, someone to understand like what I did. I seek you, the cure to my disease.
     If I am in peace and recovered from the lovely hostility of your invasion to my lands, why am I still having a state of war inside? And I know that it is just me, as you have already got over this. Maybe even on the same day when our clouds went apart, when our rains stopped hailing, when our soils became solid dry. Maybe it was just me from the very beginning. And maybe it was not. Is this some kind of self-torturing? Am I that vulnerable, that fragile, that perplexed? Am I that human?? I recovered from your addiction, that is a fact, but I am still longing for the slightest countenance of you, the soonest encounter with you. I seek the peace of being there for you, being there with you. Or maybe I seek the peace of being totally away from you.