According to The Definitive Book of Body Language (Pease & Pease, 2006), several research studies proved that it is an inborn trait in both men and women, in all cultures and across the globe, that he would be attracted to the submissive her and she would be attracted to the dominant him. Both men and women might not consciously know about it, they might even deny it, but the truth is they unconsciously practice it very widely, and this appears clearly in their body language. However, of course for every rule there are exceptions, very very few exceptions.
It is something in the creation of men and women, something in the genes and innate behavior, since their early days on Earth. Starting from the handshake, women globally use the submissive version of the handshake with the palm facing upward and not completely offered, a soft hand pump if any, and no pressure at all on the hand of the other person. They even can replace the handshake with a simple head nod. Some men use this submissive handshake however to give the upper hand to the other person willingly or unwillingly. Others use it not to show submission, but only to protect their crafty hands, like, for example, surgeons, artists, and musicians.
Smiling and laughing are known as signals of happiness. However, they are also signals of submissiveness, to show the other person that you are not a threat to them. Women are found by research to be more smilers and laughers than men, and this is shown since their early childhood where baby girls are found to smile much more than baby boys. It is like an inborn quality that women smile more which helps them in soothing their children. There are of course exceptions to this, as Margaret Thatcher, the British famous Prime Minister, always seemed to look grumpy or aggressive and was rarely seen smiling. She wanted to appear very authoritative and not at all submissive. Marylin Monroe is the direct opposite example. She knew exactly how to attract men and she did that, consciously and unconsciously, through body language signals of submission such as the baby face which arouses the innate sense of protection in men, the high-placed eye brows while lowering the eye lids to show innocence and desire, looking up, and slightly parting the lips (all form a cluster of female pre-orgasmic expressions), not to mention how she used her tone of voice to talk in a submissive (men would call it sexy though) way, all of which lit the fires of all the men around.
When a woman wants to show her interest in a man, as well as to check him out, she will meet his gaze, hold it for a couple of seconds, and then look away and down in a signal of potential submission. She can also tilt her head to one side, which displays her vulnerable neck and makes her look smaller, since a non-threatening and subordinate woman is attractive to most men. She can also use other signals like emphasising her breasts (which is an attractor to almost all men reminding them of the warmth of their mothers' breasts when babies), touching her hair, and exposing her wrists.
When it comes to men, on the other hand, dominance and friendliness are what most women seek in them. A woman simply likes a man who can protect her and who can make her laugh, and men know that very well whether consciously or unconsciously. The more he tells funny jokes and makes her laugh, the more attractive she will find him, since making others laugh is a sign of dominance. Even when a couple walk hand-in-hand, the dominant partner, mostly the man, would walk slightly in the front with palms facing backwards unlike the palms of the subordinate partner, mostly the woman, which face forward. Even in the handshake, although it is, according to the norms and etiquette, the woman's decision whether to shake hands with a man or not, when they do shake hands, the upper hand almost always goes to the man with a full hand grip and full control over the hand shake. Of course this is not the case in formal or business occasions, where women try to appear authoritative by avoiding these submissive body language signals and trying to show dominant gestures and hand shakes, since if she does not do so, men will only give attention to her feminine qualities and not take her seriously.
It is also proved that the way men speak to women differs totally from the way they speak to other men concerning the body gestures, the tone of voice, and even the words used. When men want to be seen as dominant and confident in front of women, they will stand taller, protrude their jaw, make themselves open (open hands, open legs), and expand their chest, while speaking with a deep tone of voice and using more polite language (which also applies to women who use more polite language when speaking to men as well).
In a nutshell, it might not only be the historical and social effect that makes the woman believed to be the subordinate partner with the role of the nurturer and the pacifier while the man is believed to take the role of the protector and provider, as roles imposed by the man since the beginning of life on Earth. It appears to be something inborn in their creation that men like to be the superior partner and are attracted to partners who show subordination and women are attracted to dominant partners who can protect them and their children. Roles can be reversed back and forth in the different contexts, but still remains in the end of the day the natural course of events where men like the "yes, yes" her and women like the "yes, but" him!
