The Beauty Statue

Let the horses of your imagination run in the forests of thought and creativity. Ride them and seek your freest dreams, your wildest fantasies. Let the ancient myth come true. Let your Pygmalion come back into being.

There she stands, a statue of a woman of unparalleled beauty. You would want to kiss her, to bring her into life. You may want to spell her, to fall in love with you. But you fall in love with her first. You fell in love with the perfect woman woven by the threads of your fine imagination, sculptured by the hands of a truly talented craftsman. You fell in love with a beauty statue. 
When you see some sort of beauty you become half-blinded: your eyes are taken away, but your consciousness is still there. But when that object of beauty reacts with you, you become totally blinded, for your eyes and consciousness all fall under the mercy of admiration, sensation, expectation, subordination, prostration! And when life flows through the marble veins of such ideal work of distinction, it is only a matter of time before being stabbed by the ivory daggers of love and affection. What are the odds that a perfect statue like her would love an imperfect human being like you?! It is true that her beauty is your creation, but a statue eventually loves but another statue, and there you would lie, bleeding drops of not blood, but frustration and desperation. Broken, though in flesh, not marble.

You have created a masterpiece of art, almost human, but she is not. Nothing but a cold-hearted beauty statue of marble and ivory. Some may think you are being judgmental, and others may think you are so sentimental. And they are right, but only half-right. For you will find that you already abandoned the 'senti-' and the 'judge' and left them all to the others, to follow, to decide, while taking with you only the 'mental' part, for the mind shall be your only trusted companion.
The eyes can be fooled, the senses can be cheated, but the mind stays, more resistant, and less vulnerable.

يا شادي الألحان

،يا شادي الألحان، مالك تشدو وحيدا

 ،في الكون الواسع شريدا، ترى من القضبان مزيدا

ترفرف بأجنحتك فريدا، إلى الأفق تطير بعيدا،

 ...من الأرض إلى السماء عتيدا، من الظلمات إلى النور طريدا

Do Not Disturb!

    After a couple of days of compliance to the sign "Do Not Disturb" hanging on the door handle, the service boy decided to break into such mysterious room and to disturb its inhabitant who should be as the records say a man in his middle age. From the very first day he checked in to the hotel the service boy felt that something is not right. And a curious person as he is, he made this man's room as his center of revolving around the axis of the many rooms of the Class A category which are in his charge. But once the man entered into the room, nobody ever saw him again. And the sign of "Do Not Disturb" never left its place, driving away any intruders to spoil the requested peacefulness.

      It is the third consecutive day now and nothing is changing, the man is still unseen, and the sign is still there on the door, swaying with the soft tunes of the tender breeze but never falling and never taken away. With careful steps and observing eyes, here is the service boy approaching towards the room, looking right and left to make sure that nobody can see him, thinking about some lie to tell if he is caught by the room lodger or worse by one of the managers. So far so good; no one saw him, so he puts his hand on the door handle, he clutches to it firmly, and presses it down. The door opens, the service boys takes a step inside, he closes the door back, and again nothing appears but the sign that he has just became a disturber and the sentence of a disturber shall be his fate...

      He remained stunned for a while as if he saw a fearful ghost, but what he saw was a little worse. It has been said before: be careful of what you wish for. And here is the man at last, but now he wishes he has never found him, and now he regrets disturbing him and entering this damned room. Now he started to realize that he was seeking nothing but trouble. So there the man lies on the fancy hotel room bed, but with no face! No eyes, no nose, no mouth, nothing, blank, zilch! Just a lifeless, faceless body! And it was a matter of seconds when the service boy's stun ceased as suddenly everything just went black.

     "I know your thoughts, I know your desires, I can give you anything you wish for: all you have to do is to follow me. My loyal follower." The service boy found himself lying in a dark room with these words recurring in his ears. Suddenly, some figures started to appear in front of him. The first was his manager who has been always unfair to him and who gave him more work and less money. The wrath he felt towards him was growing deep inside. But a dagger came out of nowhere and hit the figure of the manager in the chest. Another figure followed, but this time of the service boy himself, wearing expensive clothes and eating at an expensive place and enjoying rains of banknotes pouring over his head. He has never been satisfied with his life and always had these greedy thoughts to have all the money he can get. His mouth even began to drool more once another figure appeared of himself lying on a very fancy bed in a very luxurious room, doing nothing all day, with lots of servants around him, doing nothing but pampering him and serving a comfortable sloth, with lots of types of food delineated over long tables, a gluttony of having everything excessively. Abruptly this figure was replaced by the figure of him standing on a high building and all the people waving at him. The service boy sometimes had this thought that he is born better than others and that he deserves more than others. His pride even went far that even God is standing against him, being the cause of all his problems. Unexpectedly, a couple of women with stunning beauty and attractiveness penetrated through the whole scene, getting closer to him seductively and reaching their hands to him to join them, which caused him to jump before them out of lust like a pig running after a pile of rubbish. He keeps on running before them until he is hit by the figure of one of his colleagues. He has always carried feelings of envy towards this particular colleague for being successful at almost everything he does. The jealous wishes for him to fail and the grudge for every compensation that colleague takes and he does not keep on spreading inside him like a plague.
      Then comes the figure of that man, the room lodger, standing far away, looking down in despair. "I lost myself. Don't lose yours. I ran after desires, life pleasures, self-love, and hatred to others. And I got them all. But they were nothing but thin air .. With each sin I made a part of me was lost, a detail of my face was erased, and I became a walking dead. And I no longer knew my true self. I had this question if God exists, and I answered it, but it was a wrong answer. So I lost my life, my soul, and even my face, since all are not mine, but the Creator's, a fact I found out about but too late. Do not repeat my mistake, and save yourself. Do not disturb yourself by getting so indulged in life and so obsessed with your self for all are to demise and to stand for or against you in front of the Owner of all at the Day of Judgement. Do not disturb others by seeking what at their hands and by having a frozen heart while dealing with them. And do not disturb me for I got what I deserved." 
      With these words the darkness started fading, and light began to cover the whole room, so bright, with no more of such devilish figures, no more of such sinful disturbed thoughts, and no more of faceless, lifeless men. And the light became brighter and brighter, so bright to tolerate. "Helloo. Are you Okay?" said a voice that interrupted all such brightness. It was the man trying to wake up the service boy who slipped at the stairs in front of his door. The man is no longer faceless, or worse, lifeless. And the service boy is awake now, but better, awakened. 

Embrace Love, and Transcend...

   Love is a very powerful feeling. You see someone and you suddenly sense something inside. You do not know that it is love at the time, you actually never know that it is love until so much later. You just feel that feeling. That strange undescribable lovely painful captivating paradoxical feeling. You found someone special, someone of value in your life, someone whose existence is somehow related to yours. You want to know more about him, you want to be always in his presence, you want to talk to him, and you want him to feel the same. Then, you find yourself totally preoccupied with his lovely image, sometimes like a shapeless spectrum, and the other with every single adorable detail. All printed inside your mind, thinking about him, a lot, and about yourself with him, and about himself with you.

    You feel that he is so close to you already, with much and much in common, like some unknown brother/sister, like a soulmate, like a mirror reflection of yourself. You even start to feel that he looks so like you, mentally as well as physically, the same preferences, the same movements, even the same smile and facial expressions. You start to doubt his reality, to doubt your feelings, but they are just so real. And you cannot escape from a recurring thought, that this person and yourself are a unified entity, a whole one.

    The issue with love is that although it binds 2 souls together, it does not necessarily bind the 2 bodies as well. Yet love is never lost. Love is never turned into hatred, no matter what happens, no matter how bad you think you feel, about yourself, about that person. Love just stays there, so resistant, so resourceful, so powerful. 

    Believe me .. If you have ever sensed such feeling, if you have ever felt its ecstasy as well as suffering, if you have ever found that person, consider yourself lucky and blessed, and cherish every moment of it, whether it is a past or a present or even an unknown future, but never curse it. For you have found a truly genuine source of power. 

Cherish every piece of love for it is a distinct evidence that you are a true human being: with a heart not dead, a mind not empty, and a soul not alone. Embrace love, and transcend...

A Reflection on "A Harmful Love"

On A Harmful Love, a reader reflects:

"That state of love
That piece of writing

Expressive
...
In a nonreciprocal love story
Both are not at ease
The one in love tries hard to hide his feelings but fails
The eyes are no secret keepers
And the tongue is on the side of the enemy
While the one on the end of the line
Is at bewilderment
Does he/she love me?
Should I keep her away?
But I really enjoy the company
He feels what she feels because true love can't be hidden and it finds its way
But.. We human beings act foolishly until the mouth says its word
And even then, we don't value what we have until we lose it
Nothing good happens at the end of a nonreciprocal love
Both are hurt, both are not at ease.."

Author's note: I thought of posting such reflection since I found its words conveying some sense of wisdom, some sense of experience, and some sense of advice, as well as an invitation to think and re-think.

A Harmful Love

     Today I couldn't take it anymore. You've always haunted me, but this time you totally occupied me. Your figure is fixed in front of my eyes wherever I look, your voice is fixed inside my ears whatever I do, and your whole presence is fixed all over my mind whoever I deal with. Even the dreams, you are just always there! An unmerciful captivation, an unfair preoccupation.

     I tried to escape from you like I always do, so I somehow broke into my dream, woke myself up, jumped from under the blankets, to out of bed, in such freezing cold, and submerged my head under a tap of running icy water, hoping that by this I would come back to reality, the reality that you are not there, that you are not mine, that we cannot be together, that I'm not even sure if you know about all this or if you share at least a little of it with me.

     I know you know how I feel. You have the upper hand because I gave it to you once I let you get close to me. So close, closer than ever anyone did. I know from a distance I'm that kind of mysterious fellow, and that people do not feel comfortable with anything they find mysterious, anything they do not know about. And I am comfortable with that, like a defensive mechanism to avoid getting hurt, to avoid the treachery of the people, to avoid the falsity of this life. But once you get close enough, you'd find out that this mystery is nothing but an open book, and I know you already read it.

     The way I look at you, that way I speak with you, even the way I quarrel with you because of a 'quarrelless' cause, you knew where they are coming from, and once you got sure, you even tried to extract the 3 words from me. But like you've always been vacillating about me, some day you are so near and the other you are so far, I've always been trying to hide all this from you, because I just knew that this kind of love is a harmful one. It is not meant to go to the next level, due to multiple complicated reasons, but it is to keep me stuck on it, like some kind of a curse. Why did I even love you from the first place? How was such seedling planted in me and let to grow out of nowhere while it is not meant to be turned into a huge tree of evergreen leaves and infinite branches? What is the Wisdom behind making my heart get so attached to something that is not just mine?

I found love in a loveless place, but I wish I had never found it. Not that kind of love. Not that harmful love...

The Camp Fire

The desert never looked more beautiful, the night never looked more cheerful, and the stars never looked more shiny. And here we are, sitting around this camp fire, wishing its warmth cover us and its flames carry us away, far from ourselves, far from the ordinary, far from the disciplinary.

Carpets of sand are all what we tread upon, mixed with lonely shy stones, sinking into the grit once touched by our feet. And the mountains and hills like a Colosseum stand, all around us, keeping an eye on us, an eye of protection, an eye of inspection.

The desert weather is a known cliche: scorching in the day as well as at night, one from the heat and the other from the cold. However, this night looks different, for the scorch seems to be searing, and mildness is taking its place.

The cars and tents and gear and supplies, all are kept at near, yet for once the spot light deviates away from them and is spotted above our glow, in the circle around the camp fire. Sitting together, side by side, like a finely crafted necklace, even glittering like one, a reflection of both our leather clothes and our wide open eyes.

The camp is set, and so are we, but one single detail is missing. The camp fire is still burning, but wood is not its only fuel. The flames are giving a mute scream, to me so loud, but the louder scream profoundly remains inside. 

Utter Freakin' Chaos!

Beginning to feel uneasy about the amount of disorganization and mess in this place. Used to be able to go with the flow, to lean with the hard curves, to dive into the fierce waves, and to detect a pattern in an environment of utter freakin' chaos! But not any more..

Seems that I am losing this ability. Seems that my capability of handling disorder is diminishing. Seems that I am losing grips of it all. And seems that the urge for self-respect is itching ... provokingly!

Some people kept on telling me that this is not the place for me, that I do not fit into living in this territory of madness, the same as a piece of art would not fit into a pile of dirt. Some even told me that people of my kind are so rare these days, especially in this chaotic nonsense. Qualities like kindness and respect and honesty are so much appreciated and valued and wanted, but not here! And I am beginning to believe them...

"You are living in your own world!" Utopia does not exist, but so is Dystopia! All I am asking for is a world with more goodness than evil, and people with more humanity than animality. Is that too much to ask for??