Utter Freakin' Chaos!

Beginning to feel uneasy about the amount of disorganization and mess in this place. Used to be able to go with the flow, to lean with the hard curves, to dive into the fierce waves, and to detect a pattern in an environment of utter freakin' chaos! But not any more..

Seems that I am losing this ability. Seems that my capability of handling disorder is diminishing. Seems that I am losing grips of it all. And seems that the urge for self-respect is itching ... provokingly!

Some people kept on telling me that this is not the place for me, that I do not fit into living in this territory of madness, the same as a piece of art would not fit into a pile of dirt. Some even told me that people of my kind are so rare these days, especially in this chaotic nonsense. Qualities like kindness and respect and honesty are so much appreciated and valued and wanted, but not here! And I am beginning to believe them...

"You are living in your own world!" Utopia does not exist, but so is Dystopia! All I am asking for is a world with more goodness than evil, and people with more humanity than animality. Is that too much to ask for??