Friday, April 25, 2014

That First Love...

Have you ever had a first love? That first instance of a feeling towards a person of affection or passion so great, that it makes you just paralyzed: unable to control your senses for they are totally occupied with the pleasant picture of such lover. Well, I had one.
People believe that the first love is the most sincere, yet the most reckless, especially when you encounter it at such a young age, like a child in a primary school. It is the kind of love that might not be defined as love, seen from the eyes of a youngster, but it just remains deep inside as long as one lives!
That girl from the other class, it is difficult to recognize why, or how, I still remember her. Why am I even having these thoughts now?! I hope there is some good reason behind this! I still remember the way I kept looking at her, totally love-struck, totally infatuated, like someone who drank an excessive dose of a love potion to the extent that he got totally captivated to the enchanting impact of her enjoyable presence. I still remember her innocent face, her neat long hair and elegant way of dress, and, most importantly, her performance as a student. It is so strange that the first thing that made me so attracted to her was her cleverness: so hard to imagine that a child could think like this! She was the top of her class (3/A) and I was the top of mine (3/B). She was not the most beautiful girl at my year, yet tell that to little cupid! 
I still remember those very few times when I collected my whole grains of courage to go and talk to her, yet that could not prevent myself to stumble even at the minutest rock and to fumble even at the smallest talk. And when she sees that she just gives me that tender smile that makes me just fly above the ground, feeling the strength of the mighty Hercules or receiving the enthusiasm and energy of a hundred boys of my age. And that was enough for me.
Such 'Platonic love story' continued till the end of the primary stage, when we had to take different roads and go to different schools for the preparatory stage. It is funny that like 10 or 15 years later, I came across her by chance. The odd thing is that I directly realized her; she did not change much, but just became taller and veiled, a grown-up. However, the bizarre thing is that at this time my feeling was not love; it was like a shock, a fear from a ghost withdrawn a long time ago, an incarnation of some kind of memory 
kept deep inside that came back to the surface out of the blue. And like the old days, I stood watching her from a distance, but this time mainly surprise-struck. And like the old days, I just went away without saying a single word, for such memory belongs to the deeps and got no place on the surface. People are true to say that first love is like an ever-green tree with its deep roots planted inside us, but it just stays inside .. where it belongs ...

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